It has been a while, hasn't it? I have been watching "Soundbreaking" on PBS (and Hulu) sporadically and just watched episode 3, about when music became electrified (electric guitars, synths, etc). They brought up Jimi Hendrix, who I adored as a teen and young adult and I realized I haven't listened to any of his music in years. It made me very sad. Actually, every time I watch a documentary that involves George Martin in any way (as documentaries about music all seem to be produced by Sir Martin), I get sad. I get sad because I have squandered so many years not perfecting my craft, not learning the bass, or practicing the piano, or as has been the case for the last 5 years or so, not even singing out loud. Not even in the car. Not anywhere.

I wonder why I've decided to silence myself. I think about how maybe I should have tried harder to form a band or get into a band. I wonder why I think about things and yet I don't do them.

Will this be the year I try again and actually do something? is anyone going to want to see a 60-year-old overweight woman perform? It's not like I have a decades-long career on stage to draw from. I can still count all my gigs on my fingers and toes and still have some digits left.

Under other circumstances, this bit of writing would have been in a notebook and nobody would see it until maybe after I die and another family member decided to see if the notebook was empty or not. And it would possibly give them some insight into my thought processes. But I'm posting this here, for the public to see, should they come upon it. I doubt that will happen. If I had to guess, I'll get some comments from a spam farm telling me how great my blog is and shoes.